Zelly Confessionals


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Too Much Sugah 'N Not Enuff Spice

I move too much
I flip flop
I fence
people done walked all over me in my own house and they don't pay rent
done happened one time too many and it ain't making any sense
the road less traveled by? How about the one that ends.

I flower
I sunshine

I am all together too nice
a little too much sugar
and not enough spice

a little too wrong when I wanna be right
a little too blind when I need to see the light
I'm too down to earth, and reserved when I need to take flight
a little too tame when I need a little fight

I'm a little less heroic but I wanna wear the cape
I'm tired of the heart I wanna be the spade
no more smiles of clovers and koolaid
I wanna rain on your parade
Category 17 Hurricane

I wanna be villain because the good guys never win
I wanna drop the piano off the cliff
hear the melodic crash
and then
listen to the keys breaking underneath the wind
I want to grin like the grinch and plot to do it all over again

I wanna shove my mind down your throat
and not just give you a piece of it
because i feel I've been  far too nice
I tell you too much brown sugar
and not enough spice

The Garden/Law of Notion

sit down and write a poem
if life and death depended on it I couldn't write a poem
not to save my life or the life of others
not to save my papa or mommykins
definitely not my brother

write a poem or die
write a poem or die
die if you don't write this poem

dwindling away i cannot force myself to write something
that does not adequately fit into this world yet

it needs time to breath and grow rib
it needs time to eve
it isn't times place to give
but rather the making of it
time that is

time is not an object but a measurement
writing isn't an object but a measurement
writing is a measurement
a measurement of how you analyze things places, and people around you

writing is a living breathing creature created out of the measurement of opportunity a tool used to measure time.

i should of paid more attention in math class because things make sense by what the laws say
but there not adding up
multiplied by my frustration
the situation divides me
i am writing but all the while i am still trying to figure out how.

i havent eved yet i'm still waiting on adam to wake up in my garden
and although its beautiful i too cannot see yet
so walking blindly it is the beginning
those first steps that truly shape an object
i am being formed
even if i am being still
something inside me as well as around me is still forming
and if you asked me today to save my life could I write you a poem
I would die today

putting words on paper does not make them great
but rather the construction of them
the manipulation
so that begs the question
are words inherently evil?

Monday, March 8, 2010

Training Day

they told me that i wasnt ever gonna make it
told me that id never get to see the top
but now im standing on the mountain looking down
telln em i can't hear you anymore
because your negativity is out of earshot
negative nancsy better close yall mouth
mess around and catch flies
thats what my grandpops used to say
killing em with kindness
and pay them no never minds
when you get in to that dark place dont dwell in it
think of better times
so thats what i did
prayed for god to develop my gifts
so i can i make a better life
so i
make art and i
and every brush stroke i put on my canvas
gets me a lil closer to the end of the tunnel
i can almost see the light
i no longer hear your gonna be just like your mother
go to jail just like your brothers
die just like ya sisters
dammit i put blisters
on my hands to make sure i didnt end up in the same positiion
ill be dammed if i end up on the same path
cuz i didnt listen
never knew my father but the men who raised me
gave me a chance to be different
put the whoopn on that ass
and low key saved me
from continuing the cycle of self distruction that ran in my blood like a disease
so i look down from that mountain top with mixed feelings glad that i made it yet surprised to succeed
screaming at the top of my lungs "KING KONG AINT GOT NUTHN ON ME"
fell to my knees took a minute to breathe
and then things became clear
it wasn't over
looking higher I wondered, "Where do I go from here"?


Cyborgs Make the World Go Round

A fashion and life Manifesto

Always wear glitter.
Huge Gawdy earrings were made on the first day of creation and those that do not own at least one pair disgrace humanity and slap God directly in face.
Color is life, live by it, die by it.
Fuck Dick and Jane Everyone is a Dillinger and we live in the Era of Badassetry.
Twiggy is in Hell burning in Dante’s inferno on the 8th level melting like the wicked witch she is.
The curve is everlasting, the twiggy is extinct disappearing before your eyes and replaced by all the Toccara’s of the world.
It is a cardinal sin to wear black on any day you’re not dead or visiting somebody who is dead.
A hyper individual is past the idea of the individual, of the common place. They are the mechanized robots of society.
Being able to think is being able to stand alone.
The hyper real human is a cyborg.
Always pack color.
Know your palette.
You wouldn’t bring a 38 to a gun fight with an AK47 would you? So, go get yourself a grenade & blow some shit up!
Think from inside the box. Everyone’s so busy getting out that you’ll have plenty of space to work & pull
from the past all of which is retro.
The past all of it is retro.
The current is metro (moving retro)
& the future is post metro
The world is a Tinguely place.
They should call is the law of Julia. It sums up everything.
And its opposite solves everything- keep moving.
Robots are replaced with new models. Cyborgs evolve.
Robots die.
Cyborgs find ways to live forever.

Get Well Soon Hop Hop

killn time
killn bars
killin kush
killa cars
killn near
killin far
killin niggas
this rap shit can be a killah
thats what they front up
run up on you
with their fake bullshit raps
embrace a brutha in the same trap
passin hoochie cooter mamas
taking there attention for a minute
caught in the relverie
snapping out of it
bruh one says to bruh two
yea i'd hit that
and on goes the cycle of downward mobility
"check, check out my melody"
parading around foolish ideas and flauntin felonies

sound waves deliever the message of what it is is to stay trill
flashing yo fake diamonds and rent a grills
across the camera
when baby moms cant even pay the light bills
teachin they daughters how to be tip drills
industry flambay: sizzle and die: inexpensive fame hungry cheap thrill
too fake to be real
but the soldier boy waka flocka cats like, "he did it!? awww hell, i can do it too!!!"
yea they can if they give all whack ass niggas like you a gimmick and a deal

i tend to be
how you living
one hunnit
hip hop
nevr claim to be a stunna i dont want it
i cant stand the culture
everybody clings to you like vultures
pick at you til theres nothing left
rappers need to step up they bars about their guns and money heists concepts
make me wanna foxy brown lose the gift of sound: go deaf

hip hop smashing on you
eliminate you in one breath
i need evolution in my ears
it dont have to be right as in riteous or stay left
i just dont want no borderline commercial "On to the next"
i didn't say go non secular
just back to basics break it down to the molecular
build it back up
just would like to hear better gospel
rappin bout the same old same is gettin docile (dossil)
easy does
eazy does it
easy doing
easy is
easy biz
easy eats
easy beats
easy lives
im tired of these easy kats
gettn over on these kids
rippn em off tryn to pass wack music as the biz
can we get back to the roots
the elements
and the elemental truth
hip hopism as a religion
to get godly spittn in the booth?
can we melt the barbies in this uncuth plastic movement
with napalm then bury them deep in cement blcks
i want to get a one on one psychological sessions
"tell me nicki what do you see in this ink blot?
do voices tell you to talk like a dysfunctional robot?"
I wanna get into their heads to see
why they dont get the message
and why this cool to be ignorant idea was manifested
no need to confess it the labor shows the product
hip hop was an innocent bystander
in the war between society and rap
and it just got caught up
after the verbal gunfire
i rode with you in the ambulence
while they tried to bring you back to life
got hopeful when they told me you were weak but managed to survive the damages
and so i
write you a get well card
and hope one day in the very near future
you can take off your bandages
because the rap game is in a state of emergency
an SOS call has been sited
and hip hop needs to answer it
rap is sick itself
a ticking time bomb
and only the pureness of hip hop can dismantle it

get well soon hip hop
the game needs you

Sleep is For P*****

too tired to write
talking nonsense yo
late night west coasting
trying to get by
on no sleep
but i can't stop the hustle
hustle or die
die as in to sleep
and to sleep to say we end
and i refuse to give in
and let some other chump chick bite my hustle
when i'm so close to success i can taste it
ill be damned i put so much work into a future
death to complacence
fuck patience
im impatient
i want it now
but i understand i gotta give it til i get it
so no sleepn when you ttrying to get somewhere
thats how folks crash and burn
falling asleep at the wheel
im trying to put on work
never leave yo cup unattended to
competition always trying to slip you that ambien
find yourself in an ambulance
kweens like me avoid the ann boyeln
all politics like VietNAM Ho Chi Minh and Berlin
I dont play that tricky dick shit
nor do i let the king ax me
i run my kingdom
i run my ship
and to them
i could give a fuck less
looking at em driving by hatin' in a hooptie
while i wave at em from the cutlass
life is up for the must get
so i davy crockett
and go for me musket
and blast off like a rockett
joan dillenger
lyrical machine guns at the ready
ever so softly killin ya
verbal artillary: heavy
black betsy
dont think im wit it test me
jigsaw mentality
raw self centrality
no shame
step in this ring
wear a raincoat it gets messy
hustlns a messy job tho
but somebodys gotta do it...

Despite the Odds

today i found out that my mr. right now
was mr. right.
cleared his busy schedule to be with me all day
and not expected; to my surprise
learned something about me
that was so deep in my closet i thought i forgot about it
and instead of running away he stayed right there
didn't flinch, didnt blink, said that i should think
of it as something that makes me, me
and i wouldnt be ther person i am without it
and through the stubborn tears that rolled down my face
fearing he would leave like all the rest
to the best
of his ability he gave me a ginuine smile
saying he wasn't planning on going anywhere for a while
if ever
and i drifted to sleep
in his arms
for what seemed like almost half of forever
listening to the rain beating against my windows
realizing that in this world
despite the odds
i am loved